The little guy with the square jaw strode into the arena. He walked briskly, his body betraying no signs of the growing tempest within. A large rowdy group of spectators greeted the squat foreigner with loud jeers. A visibly large section of the crowd were up on their feet and making a really strange gesture with their arms. As one group and in perfect unison, they collectively bent low to their right, pulled their right hand back and with clenched fists, swung up hard at a phantom figure.
They were mocking him for an earlier misdemeanor. Reflexively, the squat man grinned. As he continued his brisk trot out to the middle, in his mind's eye, he replayed the grisly scene that he was about to orchestrate. This is how he saw it panning out - He would take guard in the middle and then against the backdrop of an angry mob baying for his blood, he would slay the Home Lions. One by One. Until all eleven Home Lions lay lifeless in the arena. He would then rip off his armour, wipe the bloody entrails off his brow, hold his arms aloft and scream at the crowds - "Are you not entertained? Is that not why you are here"
They were mocking him for an earlier misdemeanor. Reflexively, the squat man grinned. As he continued his brisk trot out to the middle, in his mind's eye, he replayed the grisly scene that he was about to orchestrate. This is how he saw it panning out - He would take guard in the middle and then against the backdrop of an angry mob baying for his blood, he would slay the Home Lions. One by One. Until all eleven Home Lions lay lifeless in the arena. He would then rip off his armour, wipe the bloody entrails off his brow, hold his arms aloft and scream at the crowds - "Are you not entertained? Is that not why you are here"
David Warner did not do any of these.
Far from it. After playing an inspiring knock that raised hopes of a rare Aussie win in the fourth Ashes Test at Durham, Warner's post match press-conference was as pathetic as it can get. This is what he said. "When I first came back and I got booed walking out at Manchester I felt real nervy. I felt real small. I felt that everything was against me.". He also added, "We were talking about it just before, what goes through our minds when we walk out there and how rowdy the crowd was. It does help having the home [crowd] behind you ...."
That pretty much sums up the current state of Cricket Australia.
The whining has now reached a crescendo. The masters of sledging now no longer greet rival batsmen with imaginatively thought through barbs. The once trademark swagger has morphed into an ungainly stagger. You can now say with certainty that the Aussie rout is complete. Alas! How the mighty have fallen.
Wait a moment! Did you hear that? Did that sound like a yelp?
Is that you Pup?
(c) Avinash Menon
